A Birth Story: Comparing 2 Cesarean Births
Shared by Oh Baby graduate, Morgan
Beautiful, empowering, positive, and magical.
These are all things that Caesarean births can be with the right support. I have had two belly births and they could not have been further apart in terms of experience.
With my first birth, I went into it with the opinion that I was going to go with the flow. I was happy with whatever the outcome was going to be as long as I had a happy and healthy baby. This had been preached to me many times but no one mentioned that I mattered too. My happiness was equally as important.
Towards the end of my pregnancy, I was notified that my baby was too big for me and that he was in the wrong position and it would be an extremely painful birth, but I could still go through with it if I wanted to. The power of words. The lack of encouragement and empowerment was so clear. It left me feeling a lack of confidence, terrified and alone. At 37 weeks my obstetrician unfortunately heartbreakingly lost her husband suddenly which lead to me being passed from doctor to doctor with so many mixed opinions. I was confused and still so scared. The thing that was consistent was that he was too big for my body and that he was in a bad position. Again the power of words.
My obstetrician came back to check me at 39 weeks and the talk was the same but with more intensity. She had backed me into a corner saying he was too big but she wouldn’t induce me because he wasn’t engaged so we would have to leave him longer. When I said to her “ but you are saying he is too big now in another week he will be even bigger what does that mean for me”, she just shrugged her shoulders.
We ended up agreeing to have an elected Caesar but no part of it felt elected to me.
Fast forward to the day and I felt so anxious and scared that I ended up having a panic attack in the theatre. I was given drugs to calm me down but all that happened was that I felt so out of my body and disconnected from my birth. When my baby came out he wasn’t happy and neither was I, we were both so overwhelmed.
With my second birth I went in with so much more knowledge, I advocated for what I wanted, I researched obstetricians and didn’t settle until I felt like I was going to be heard, listened to, and advocated for. The obstetrician I chose was so supportive, I never felt silly, nothing was ever a problem, and she worked hard to make me feel as comfortable as she could throughout my pregnancy.
She also made me feel in control at every stage, in charge, and that I had a choice. We negotiated my birth plan and we settled on a VBAC with some guidelines for the safety of myself and my baby.
I got my VBAC, I got to feel labour, I got to be in my body, feel contractions and breathe with my baby, I got to feel in control, I got skin to skin immediately, I got delayed cord clamping and I got my first feed within minutes.
My birth ended up in a very calm emergency Caesarean. I had a playlist of songs my husband and I had chosen and a massive smile on my face as I waited for them to lift her out. I got to hold her hand as she came out and was then placed on my chest. The feeling of staring into your baby’s eyes for the first time is second to none. Just pure magic. She was calm and immediately found comfort in my arms.
My obstetrician advocated for every single thing I wanted, standing up for me when the pediatrician wouldn’t allow me to hold her. I got everything I wanted, we were both happy, both healthy. I felt so empowered and heard. It was the most beautiful moment and my most positive birth out of the two, even when it didn’t look like it on paper.
Caesareans can be just as beautiful. It’s all about the support you have around you and the people who are willing to stand up for you and what you deserve. Every mother deserves a beautiful birth. I just wish I could relive that day over and over again.